Love Is God's Cure For Fear.

Today I had gathered together with a group of men from different ministries. We had a barbecue meal and lots of fun together. I had good conversations with an old friend from another ministry who works in the same district.

His openness and gratitude for his recovery warmed my heart.

He told me about the past seasons of his personal life and how God had led him through it. His openness and gratitude for his recovery warmed my heart. His wounds had turned into scars and I was allowed to touch and feel them through our conversation. God's deep grace had lifted him through this difficult time. He talked about his recovery process and how he felt that through everything he found it difficult to be among people again. He was so transparent about his insecurity for this afternoon to meet with other men, yet he showed up and I'm glad he did.

"ONE DAY I WOULD BE NEEDING IT, AS A MAN.."

Later that afternoon we told each other what was going on in our lives and prayed for each other. It was a good afternoon for the kingdom of God. On my way home I started to think about my own fears that are still so clearly in control. My fear of people is the greatest of them all. I remembered all the moments when God had spoken to me to stop being afraid and to learn to trust Him. When I was a little boy my mother said over and over again: Gideon, fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe. Although I was a very loud and brave boy, my mother kept saying this throughout my youth, knowing; one day I would be needing it as a man.

I don't fully understand why and when exactly I lost my fearlessness, but I envy that brave little boy who was not afraid of anything and just lived as being loved.

I now learned that the cure for fear is love. Unconditional, burning love. The God of Love, who is Love and is a Lover. As Martin Smith would describe: Over the mountains, over the sea, here You come running, my Love to me..

Yet in the past years I learned to live with my fear of people and I discovered all kinds of ways to deal with this. This made me get through the present but I never dared to dream about the future. The future that God has in mind for me. The Gideon that God sees, brave, fearless and lives as loved. The brave hero, according the meaning of my name. I was the brave hero in God's story but not exactly in mine.

The days right before the lockdown, I started looking for God and I prayed for a long time that He would pour out more love into me through His Holy Spirit. (Rom 5: 5) The love that does not seek itself but love that gives up its life for the other. Who knows no fear of people but loves them to the moon and back. Love that does not bend under any circumstance but determinedly fulfills its purpose. Fear seeks self-preservation but love lays down it's life for the other.

There is a dimension of love that is so consuming that you completely forget yourself. Often when I was alone with God I was in that dimension and time stood still because I was with the Person with no beginning and no end. God in this love drove every uncertainty out of me and I feel whole in this dimension.

My deepest desire is to always live from this rich dimension. Every person longs for this love and will never really live outside the reality of this love. I pray and expect God to teach me to reside in this rich place of unconditional love.

My goals have become simple. I don't pursue to be 'effective' or work for recognition. Nor am I going to find better ways to deal with my fears in a crafty manner. I want to live from God's unconditional love. Being rooted in the same love that God feels for His Son Jesus. The same love between the Son and the Holy Spirit.

...

Today I learned something.

My dear friend had taken a step in confidence knowing God loves him and put aside his fear of men. He let me touch his scars and for a moment on that porch, I was in that wonderful dimension of God love.